A colleague on one of my e-mail lists sent around a list of “more wierd facts.” The bold comments are mine.
More Wierd Facts: Did you know…
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
How did they find this out?
A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out.
I’m not worried about a crocodile licking me.
A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
Big deal. I know lots of men with their heads in their dicks.
In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one
reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand.
How could they? An ostrich with its head in the sand is invisible.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
That’s why there are birds; to watch out for them.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
Lots of things are called twits.
More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a
telephone call.
Many of them are assigning editors.
Horses can’t vomit.
Have they ever watched Mr. Ed?
The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest
tongue twister in the English language.
I’d say that, too, if I couldn’t say the tongue-twister.
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress
a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
If you keep making faces, your face will freeze like that.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a
million descendants.
All of them will be Mormon.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
ear by 700 times.
Does it make a difference if you’re listening to Barry Manilow or death metal?
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14,
Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16,
1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with
extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
Think about who’s in Congress, then ask the question again. The answer will be obvious.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
His name is Kramer.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
Because ducks are outside, and things don’t echo outside. Except in canyons, and ducks are too smart to go into canyons.
23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on
them and photocopying their butts.
A similar proportion is caused by copying dumb-ass memos.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
There’s a “tastes like fish” joke here, but I can’t bring myself to write it.
Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
How do you clean the ink off?
Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
38 percent will try to lick someone else’s.
