WASHINGTON (CNN) — The FBI has recovered a valuable copy of the Bill of Rights that had been missing for 138 years, bureau sources said Wednesday.

If you want to know what it’ll be like for the 500-odd reporters “embedded” with the armed forces in and around Iraq, I’ve got a couple of links for you.

This one, via the invaluable J.D. Lasica, extracts some interesting points from the Pentagon’s ground rules for reporters. (There’s also a link to the full official document.) There will undoubtedly be some gears grinding in the actual practice, but these look like pretty reasonable and enlightened rules.

As for what reporters can expect from moment-to-moment life with the troops, turn to Joe Galloway. Joe covered Vietnam for UPI and wrote the book “We Were Soldiers Once… And Young.” (They turned it into a Mel Gibson movie last year.) For many years, he wrote for U.S. News & World Report; now he’s the military affairs reporter for Knight Ridder.

This piece from Editor & Publisher is the memo that Knight Ridder reporters get when they’re leaving for a war zone. It tells you how to survive. Here’s some sage advice from Joe:

• If things start happening suddenly and violently — incoming mortars or a chemical warfare alert — and you don’t know what to do, watch a sergeant and do what he does and what he tells you to do. Failing that, get down and stay down until the picture becomes clearer. If someone, anyone, tells you to move out or run or dig a hole, do so with vigor.


• Don’t sit down on the ground or flop down on a tank deck or lay down … without first taking a very good look for bugs, critters, snakes, scorpions, and the like. You will have a very painful war if you are nursing a scorpion bite on your butt.

… and something that no reporter should ever forget: engage with the people you’re covering:

• Don’t be a whiner and complainer. Don’t huddle in shared misery with other reporters. You are there to cover soldiers. Spend your waking hours with them, listening to them. You may be surprised to find your average infantry captain, while from a totally different culture, is often intelligent and a good companion.

With war drums beating louder than ever, the economy in a shambles, smoking about to be banned through all of the city, this item actually made the NYTimes today:

Two 17-year-old boys, apparently following instructions penned by Abbie Hoffman, caused a flash fire in a Brooklyn apartment yesterday afternoon while trying to make a smoke bomb on the stove, the police said. One of the teenagers received second-degree burns to the upper torso.

Very little property damage. No other injury. One of the kids goes to LaGuardia High, a good school. The other — the one who was burned — goes to Bronx Science, a very good school. The apartment is on a good block in a good neighborhood, Park Slope. The street was crowded because of a St. Patrick’s Day parade, but there was no apparent connection.

Without the oh-so-tenuous Abbie Hoffman link, seems to me that this doesn’t even make the local giveaway weeklies. At least the kids didn’t get the recipie off the internet….

The chairman of Motorola stood up in front of the cell phone industry today and said that what people want is better voice service. The chairmen of LG and Nokia said what people want is more bells and whistles.

From CNet:

But not being able to rely on a cell phone because a network is shoddy will turn back the expected tide of new users, Galvin said.

Absolutely right. If you can’t rely on a tech gadget to work, people won’t use it. And games and whizbang stuff aside, the main purpose of a phone is to make phone calls. But maybe I’m just an old fart.

How could LG and Nokia disagree that service needs to get better? Probably because better phone service is mostly an infrastructure issue, and Motorola is a much bigger infrastructure player than LG or Nokia, which rely more heavily on handset sales.

If cell networks aren’t built out, people won’t rely on cell phones. And that’s bad for the whole industry.

From Reuters, via CNN:

Most newlyweds experience a brief emotional bounce after their wedding, but they eventually return to the same outlook they had on life before they tied the knot, according to a study released Sunday.

“We found that people were no more satisfied after marriage than they were prior to marriage,” the researchers said.

From the AP via CNN:

JOHNSTON, Iowa (AP) — The president of a community college was arrested Wednesday on charges of raising marijuana for sale.

In India, a proposal to raise the price of fertilizer was shouted down. Literally. From the AP via the NYTimes:

Upset by a budget proposal to raise the price of fertilizer, lawmakers in India’s lower house of parliament shouted their opposition for four hours on Tuesday. The tactic was so effective the finance minister withdrew the plan.

Here in the U.S., our legislators would never do that. That’s what Talk Radio is for.

AP story today via the NYPost about using the net to troll — and track — for neologisms both historical and current. Jon Kleinberg, a computer scientist at Cornell, has tricked up software that searches the net for abrupt shifts in lingo tied to a certain era.

The program is intended to look at data about which the searcher has no clue – say a mountain of unread e-mail or documents – and divulge a list of what topics were hot and when they started to heat up.

(A quick look at Kleinberg’s publications list looks really interesting, if you care at about how people spread news/gossip. I do.)

Seems that the hosting company Verity is aiming Klenberg’s software at weblogs. Why? Because it

…could ultimately help advertisers target their sales pitches.

Figures.

Another collector of neologisms is Paul McFredries, an author who’s written a bunch of “Complete Idiot’s Guides” and maintains the web site wordspy.

Some of the words spotted by McFedries are tech-related, e.g., “ham,” which means legitimate e-mail that gets lost in spam filters because it contains some spam-like phrases. Others are free-floating jargon, such as “induhvidual,” meaning one who acts foolishly.

I first saw “induhvidual” in Dilbert. This usage of “ham” is new to me; I think it’s a keeper.

Tom Glazer, who in 1963 wrote the song parody, “On Top of Spaghetti,” died recently at age 88. (He did not roll off the table and out the door.)

Of course, Glazer did plenty of other things. He was an important member of the Folk Revival movement of the 1950s and ’60s. But there are worse things than to be remembered with a song that kids will be singing for approximately forever.

For the ignorant or forgetful, here are the lyrics. A-one, a-two, a-three, and-a-four…

From Reuters via CNN:

Shame television is off the air in Oklahoma after the channel aimed at humiliating men who frequented prostitutes ended up providing free advertising for city street walkers but gaining few viewers….

The scrolling and repeating mug shots of disheveled streetwalkers helped would-be customers identify prostitutes, the spokeswoman said. “It was almost a promotional thing for them. It wasn’t a deterrent at all.”